Lettera aperta al “nostro amato premier”

Riceviamo e pubblichiamo una lettera in “inglese renziano” scritta da una collega neo abilitata

Dear premier Matthew ( I call you with your first name, because I feel you as a member of my family),
I decided to write you in Inglish (and not an inglish qualsias, an inglish as the one you sfogged some months ago in the European meeting) because it’s shish and we tutts knows that Italian is an inutil and superated language.
I wanto to ringrazz you for the teachers’concors you are preparing.
The idea stess of a concors is genial: it’s indispensable to test again many sfigated teachers who have a laur, spess a master or a dottorat, an abilitant cors, and in many cases, parecch years of insegnament.
I’m sicur you know what is TFA: a very hard prov of ingress, an inter year of attivities, tirocin and sacrifices, and the dispend of 2500 euros, that are bruscolins for the fantasmagoric stipends of Italian teachers.
I’m also deliziated by the indiscrections are giring about the contenuts of the concors.
The provs your are preparing are so fantastic.
-The idea of making the first prov with computer demonstrates that ortography is not important for a teacher: now we have the t9 for correcting our Italian and it’s important thet also analphabets can have a chance to became teachers.
– The idea of a domand (or two) in a foreign language is great: I have già dett that Italian is a no more util language and also the MIUR sottosegretar Faraone has appen demonstrated us thet you can divent a pezz gross of the governamant even if you ignore this language.
– The oral about disciplins: I pens it’s more important to kwow what Napoleon manged before the Waterloo battle, than being able to teach and to trasmitt competences to the students.
– Also the tempistic is very good: we’ll have sol two months for preparing the consors. Dopotutt, everybody knows that teachers, during the scolarìstic year, have un cazz to do. We work only 18 hours for settiman, and we don’t have nient’altr to do at home: nobody of us prepares the lessons, correct students’ homework and classwork, appront materials for dsa and bes, make reunions with the collegues. We gratt our ass tutt the afternoon and so we are happy to have, finalment, something to do in a so cort time.
Concluding, I’m sure thet this concors will be the ciliegin on the tort of a great school reform: I love “The Buon School” and I’m sure we’ll raccogl the fruits in a short time.
So, my dear Matthew, I want to ringrazz you for all your great reforms (all with Inglish names): the spending review, the jobs act and the constitution demolition (if you doesn’t have pensated a name for this important reform, this is my suggeriment).
I augur you, for the next elections, to prend the same number of votes thet permitted you to becama our amated premier.
With big admiration
A sfigated Italian teacher